Connection strategies: Small groups and dinner groups

This post begins what will be my last planned series on church and Sunday School / life groups for a few weeks.  I have a few other things to write about, including education, that will start to show up in future posts (see my recent post on bravery in motherhood here).

As discussed in the More than a number series, it's important to plan for growth with your leadership team.  Once you get beyond a certain number of individuals or couples, you have a few options to make room for growth.

1. Plant a new class.  This is the ideal move if you have classroom space available at your church and enough leaders available to take on the new responsibility.  See here and here for tips on this transition.
2. Move to a bigger space.  An unused wedding chapel, lecture hall, movie theatre, or gymnasium near or inside your church can serve as a space for your class, but it can become a bit impersonal.
3. Introduce small groups & dinner groups.  Small,  designated groups that meet to discuss the lesson and pray during class time or to fellowship over dinner at an alternate time during the week.

Small groups are great a for a few reasons.  First, they work pretty well in any Sunday School or life group class that is ten people or more in attendance.  Second, they provide a great introductory leadership opportunity to individuals who want to get involved-- there is usually neither a large time commitment nor a lot at risk for someone to lead a short discussion during class on Sunday.  Third, it really helps people feel connected.  Discussion can often lead into personal stories shared, learning names, and making friends.  This is especially important if your class is implementing Option 2 (move to a bigger space) at the same time.

If you're thinking about implementing small groups in your class, here are some items for your leadership team to consider:

• Who will lead your small groups?  Will you provide any training for these leaders?
• Will the discussions be extemporaneous or will the SG leaders receive pre-selected questions from the teacher?
• Do you want to include prayer time in the small groups?
• How much time will you take for small group discussion?  Will it be at the middle or the end of the lesson? (Don't forget to factor in time for moving around tables and chairs, transition, etc.)
• How will you assign people to groups?  

If you've decided not to implement small groups, dinner groups can be a great alternative way to encourage connection.  It's especially great if your class is unable to do a lot of large social events or if you want to mix things up a bit.  Dinner groups involve having a group of three couples (four maximum) dine together at each couple's home once over a span of six to eight weeks.  The gathering is informal and the couples work together to set their schedule.  Additionally, the dining experience could be a dinner meal, a lunch, or just a dessert and coffee gathering.  It's very flexible and a lot of fun.  If you are interested in implementing dinner groups, here are some tips:

• Make it optional.  Pass around a sign-up sheet (or make one online at SignUpGenius) to allow couples to opt-in to the dinner groups.  Give a few weeks for people to sign up.
• Choose ahead of time the range of dates for the dinners (ex. "Your dinner group should plan to meet three times between February 1 and March 31").  Avoid holidays and, depending on your area, popular sports seasons.
• Mix up the couples.  Have your leader or Events Coordinator/Committee assign couples to groups randomly or purposely assign people who do not know each other well.  It's a lot of fun to see the unlikely relationships that will form!
• Don't do it too often.  Once or twice in a calendar is usually enough, considering other church events, Bible studies, and holidays.

While I have only ever seen dinner groups for married adult classes, I know from personal experience that the Progressive dinner is good alternative for large singles classes.  Typically you will have a few singles with their own living space or a group of rooms at your church that can be used for a progressive dinner, and using a carpool or minibus/van from a central location can solve most transportation issues.

Being a small group leader was my first church leadership experience.  I was really happy to be asked to help out in this capacity with my church's singles ministry after attending for a while.  At that time, our large and quickly growing singles ministry had outgrown its classroom space at the church and was meeting in a movie theatre next door on Sundays.  We would have our large group lesson for the Young Professionals (20-somethings) in one cinema, and then break up for discussion in separate cinemas afterwards before heading to the worship service.  It was a fun experience and eventually led me to co-leading Bible study, writing our ministry's newsletter, driving a minibus for special events, and helping with outreach.  I certainly didn't have it all figured out before I started, nor do I now, but I do not think I would have grown as much as a Christian without these experiences.

My husband and I also have enjoyed a few different sessions of dinner groups over the years.  Though we both have an almost laughably low score in Hospitality on spiritual gifts tests, we have learned over time to relax and enjoy the company of new friends in these low-stress situations.  Without opportunities like this, it can be hard to get to know someone just by seeing them at church once a week or interacting on social media.  Being vulnerable enough to invite someone to your home, enjoy a meal together, and share stories helps make a foundation for real friendship.

What are your best connection strategies in Sunday School and life group?  Share in the comments below!