A caring community: Celebrating births and adoptions

This post begins a new series on how your Sunday School or Life Group community can care for each other through different life events.  Today we're talking about a life event that effects most young married groups: the births of babies and adoptions.

"Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28) certainly takes on a new meaning when you are working with a class of newlyweds and young married adults!  Before you know it, there may be a large number of expecting mommies and daddies in your group-- and don't forget about those who may choose to adopt a child.  Here's a few questions to think through with your leadership team when creating a plan to celebrate growing families:

• Will you host baby showers for every new birth/adoption or just the first child?
• Will these be "diapers and wipes" showers, or will they be for registry items?  What about "diapers and wipes" showers for moms who are using cloth diapers?
• Will you host separate showers for each mother, or group showers for those with similar due dates?
• Do you have a budget for shower snacks, beverages, paper goods, and games?  (Remember that some pregnant moms have dietary restrictions).
• Do you have a volunteer who will help coordinate the showers with the moms?
• Will you offer meals for the new parents when the baby is born?  If yes, how many meals for how many weeks?
• Do you have a volunteer who will help coordinate the meals with the family once the child is born/adoption is completed?

While answering these questions, keep in mind the size of your class and any other obligations to church service activities or other events.  You do not want your class members to feel burned out or overspent between too many obligations, and neither do you want those who are being celebrated to feel disappointed when their meal calendar is mostly empty or only a few people show up to the shower.  The key to striking a good balance here is picking achievable goals and sticking to them.  Here are some examples of making a achievable goals work with a "less is more approach":

• Offer group diapers and wipes showers, with light appetizers, beverages, and some simple games.  Host at your church or a volunteer's house.  Use e-vite or Facebook Events in lieu of paper invitations; ask a few people attendees to bring an appetizer, beverage, or paper good.  Split the diapers and wipes that are brought evenly between the moms.
• Offer a registry shower for the first child only.
• Offer a meal calendar for the new parents with 6-8 meals spread over two weeks or four weeks (parents' choice).  Pizza or the family's favorite take-out meals are just as good as a home-cooked dish to tired parents of a new baby!
• Let your class members know that sharing the cost of a meal for the new parents or a baby shower gift is definitely ok.  

Remember that none of this precludes individual members of your class from giving additional gifts, meals, or help to the family.  Some families will also have relatives, friends, and co-workers outside of church who are hosting showers or helping out too, so stick to what your church group can do best: show love to the family in a way that is caring and consistent to everyone.  A great reference passage for this is Acts 6:1-7.  In the early church, one group of widows complained that they were not getting equal treatment with other widows in the charitable food distribution.  After the twelve apostles appointed seven deacons to be responsible for these duties, the people were pleased and the Gospel spread rapidly.  If your goal is to spread the Gospel, being caring and consistent with the help of a few dedicated volunteers can clear obstacles that arise from a perception of unfair treatment.

A few final notes:

• I don't have personal experience with hosting events for parents who are adopting, but would encourage readers to share resources you have found.  My own research indicates that adoption showers typically take place after the child has been placed with the parents and that the age of the adopted child may be a factor in the type of gifts desired.  There's a good article at About.com Parenting with some ideas for making these events successful.  
• To help celebrate the birth mother of an adopted child, check out the new and growing ministry of Three Strands.  
• For single parents, check out the resources at Table for One Ministries to learn how your church can effectively encourage singles on the journey of parenthood.
• A future post in this series will address infertility struggles and miscarriage.

Lastly, these events can be a lot of fun!  Because I am not close to most of my immediate family, my own Diapers and Wipes shower with two other expecting moms from my Sunday School was a very meaningful event to me.  My sister was able to come to the event, and we had yummy snacks and lemonade at a volunteer's house.  One of our group's members was very talented in coming up with fun games with some great useful prizes (my son still plays with the pack of foam bath letters I won!).  One mom and I walked away with quite a stash of diapers and wipes for our children's first year, and another mom who elected to use cloth diapers received gift cards in lieu of disposables.  This event was one of my most precious memories from the days before my son's birth, and I so greatly treasure all the love and generosity of these wonderful women.

What are your tips for helping celebrate family growth?  Leave a comment below!